2011 is upon us and that means we can do another tasty update. This file goes up to the first week of January – so again there’s been a lot of movement.

Before we do that though, let’s take a look at these 10 things that the World Sports Network told us to watch out for this season:

1. Chelsea wins back to back titles
2. Drogba to score 25+
3. Rooney to get extremely frustrated
4. Sir Alex Ferguson to retire at season’s end, will complain on the way
5. Roberto Mancini’s job to come under question
6. New owners and excitement for Liverpool
7. Chicharito to secure best young player of the year award
8. Intense battle for 4th
9. Newcastle to stay on top, Blackpool relegated
10. 25 Player cap, 8 homegrown

Well if I had to rattle through those I’d say:

1) In Drogba’s dreams
2) Ssshhh… he’s still sleeping
3) Rooney = Frustration
4) Fergie is immortal, he will never retire
5) The only manager who will never be questioned is Fergie
6) Liverpool have more new owners \ managers than Blackpool has supporters
7) The anti-roooney
8) Spurs don’t need 4th place – they’re going to win Europe on first attempt
9) Blackpool to take 4th spot
10) What do you call 8 English players on a bench? A football team.

In our league, it’s uncomfortably close, with just 27 points seperating 20th place and 11th place, just 32 points seperating 30th place and 21st place, just 17 points seperating 40th place and 31st place – need I go on?

Remember: Pain Heals, Chicks Dig Scars, Ferguson Lasts Forever

Also: Use those transfers

Peace out.

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

We’ve had a bit of a break since the first update due to International matches but now we are back in the thick of it…

The weekend was a surprise-orama with many of the big teams struggling to find wins: Spurs held by West Brom, Man City held by Blackburn, Liverpool held by Birmigham and Everton coming back from 2 goals behind to draw with Man U. If that wasn’t enough then Blackpool continue their dream Premier League campaign with a 2 nil win over Newcastle, whilst Chelsea and Arsenal recorded thumping wins to stay 1st and 2nd in the League.

I’ll let you look for yourself what this means for our fantasy league but as this is the second update… we have movement… and movement means banter!!

I forgot to mention last week that the website is where the latest league table will be put going forward – rather than sending it as an attachment every week.

Each update (i.e. the factual yet amusing editorial above) will also be put online – and you can of course leave comments.

Hopefully it all displays ok on everyone’s computers but any probs give me a shout.

Just click on “Our League Table” (top right) to view the latest scores on the doors.

This just got serious!!

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

p.s. I’m not sure if everyone saw but the lady who made the news last week by putting a cat in a bin, has had her Twitter account hacked, I’ve copied it below for you to read:

“Just passed a shoe shop. Threw one of the sample shoes outside on top of a bus. Why do I do these things?”

“In Tescos now. I’ve put some frozen sausages in with the cereals. They’ll probably go off. I draw no pleasure from this.”

“It means I’ll have to carry the bags most of the way home, but this trolley’s going in the canal.”

“No.35 hasn’t taken her milk in. Really feel like pouring it through the letterbox for her. What am I like?”

“Just kicked the head off next door’s gnome. For a joke. Who’s laughing now though? Not me. Not me.”

“Took the rubbish out. Before I knew what I was doing, I’d swung the bag round and flung it over the fence. I think it’s in their tree. WHY?”

“Lovely coffee at Brenda’s, but as soon as she left the room I couldn’t help tipping it down the back of her telly. Regretting it already.”

“If they don’t want people to do what I’ve just done in the gallery, they shouldn’t sell pens in the gift shop. Sat on coach now. Bit lonely.”

“Waiting for a relief coach at the services because some of the tyres were flat. I can feel some of the church social ladies staring at me.”

“No answer at Brenda’s. Thought she might come over, what with her telly being bust. Bit of company.”

“Her across the way came looking for her wind chimes earlier. I told her I didn’t have them. I don’t. They’re on her roof, where I threw ‘em”

“At my niece’s birthday party. The cake’s in the pond. It’s not going down as well as I thought.”

“There’s a rude word on the window of this cafe written in squirty ketchup. I think the owner thinks I did it. I know I did. Embarrassed.”

“The dripping word I’m sat under is something I’d never say or type. People are looking in. This is the tensest egg bap I’ve ever eaten.”

“At church. Enjoyed the sermon, but kept showing the vicar the finger every time I caught his eye. Not sure he ‘got’ it. Mortified if not.”

“Invited Brenda round for a Sunday roast. Went well. She didn’t finish her dessert so I poured it into her handbag. She can have it later.”

“Watering next door’s houseplants while they’re away, but I only have a rough idea how far I threw their keys after I waved them off. Why me?”

“In next door’s porch. I can see a couple of the plants from the letterbox, but the hose isn’t reaching very well. I don’t need this.”

“In next door’s lounge. Got in by putting the gnome through the front window. All the plants are watered now. Quite pleased.”

“Having a quiet drink at the social club with Brenda. Her handbag smells quite bad now. Hope no one thinks it’s me.”

“Went in to sort next door’s mail, but I’ve shredded things I ought not have. Trying to draw them some new certificates. Guessing the grades.”

“I popped Brenda’s coat on a hanger in Oxfam while she was in the ladies. She’s in a bidding war with another customer now. Bit of a scene.”

Every now and again you find yourself watching or even being a part of something a little bit spectacular, something which you know will make the history books and that people will look back on in 50 years and say “remember when…”.

To give you a few examples, do you remember 2005 and the Ac Milan vs Liverpool Champions League Final? Held at Atatürk Stadium in Istanbul and with a monstrous 70,024 in attendance, Milan were regarded as favourites before the match and took the lead in the first minute through captain Paolo Maldini. Hernán Crespo added two more goals before half-time to make it 3-0. During the second half, Steven Gerrard, Vladimír Šmicer and Xabi Alonso scored three goals in six minutes for Liverpool to level the scores at 3-3. The scores remained the same during extra time, and a penalty shootout was required to decide the champions. The score was 3-2 to Liverpool when Andriy Shevchenko’s penalty was saved by Liverpool goalkeeper Jerzy Dudek. Thus Liverpool won their fifth European Cup. Regarded by many as the best match ever…

Or how about 1999 and the Manchester United vs Bayern Munich game? The action kicked off in Barcelona in front of a mind blowing 90,000 fans, but it was 1-0 to Bayern Munich throughout the entire match, until Man Utd score 2 goals in stoppage time to win the cup. United’s victory was the culmination of their Treble-winning season, after they had already won the FA Premier League and the FA Cup earlier in the month.

Or 2006 at the Cardiff Millenium Stadium, and Liverpool vs West Ham in the Cup? 71,140 in attendance and when West Ham went ahead 2-0, many thought it was all over. Even later on at 3-2 it looked like the match was sealed but Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard scored a goal in the last minute from 30-yards plus to take the game to extra-time and they eventually triumphed on penalties. It is considered by most who watched to be one of the greatest Cup Finals in the history of the tournament.

Ok one more for you, how about the Tottenham 4 Arsenal 5 game at White Hart Lane in 2004? Although Arsenal came out on top in a topsy-turvy north London derby, it was an amazing journey to the final whistle. Noureddine Naybet volleyed Spurs ahead before Thierry Henry levelled in first- half injury-time and Lauren’s penalty put Arsenal ahead after 53 minutes. Patrick Vieira added a third on the hour, and even though Jermain Defoe’s strike gave Spurs hope, Freddie Ljungberg restored the two-goal lead. Ledley King headed Spurs’ third, and even after Robert Pires hit Arsenal’s fifth, Freddie Kanoute was on target.

And of course only a few months ago, 30,000 plus faithful were treated to a record-breaking 9 – 1 game between Spurs and Wigan, where Defoe scored 5 goals and became only the third player, after Alan Shearer and Andy Cole to do so. Not just that but Tottenham scored eight times in the second half as Wigan sank without trace and Defoe notched a hat-trick in seven minutes, the second quickest since the inception of the Premier League in 1992. Oh good times and history was made.

Wow – that was a ramble – so back to last weekend and a very different kind of history being made. Sky showed the world’s first live 3D TV sports broadcast after being helped by the man behind the Hollywood blockbuster movie Avatar. With only 9 selected pubs in the entire country having this honour, it was with more than the usual happiness that I drank my beer whilst wearing special glasses to see the Arsenal vs Manchester United game in an extra dimension. What did I think? Well it had a lot of potential, I’m not sure the technology is quite there yet to stream 3D on the fly by the mili-second, but to be honest – bothered – because in 50 years time when its totally the norm to watch 3D TV, I’ll be able to say “I was there when it all began.”

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So it’s the end of the month, which means it’s prizes time. Kokbun Lee (£6) was the highest points manager with 271 points in the month, closely followed by Steve Dennis (261) and Chris Lyons (254). The £5 Highest Climber prize goes to Cerys Bowd (up 49 places) with Simon Laesser (up 43) and Sarah Groves (up 40) just missing out. There were also two lucky people who get £1 each for being on a multipe of 100, and they are Leigh Styles and Andrew Oestrich (800).

Well done to everyone, there is now less than 70 points between 1st place and 10th place – so it’s not long before some new history will be made.

You heard it here first, www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

Do I comment on Liverpool beating Man U… Stoke beating Spurs… or Villa, Arsenal and Man City all being held to disappointing draws?

Perhaps I should focus on the fact that 5 of our top 6 managers are ladies and that there are none in the bottom 10?

Or maybe you’d be more interested to know that in 1843, a Parisian street mime got stuck in his imaginary box and consequently died of starvation?

I thought so. Here are a few more amazing facts for you…

A cat’s purr has the same romance-enhancing frequency as the voice of singer Barry White.

Ben and Jerry’s sends the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff.

The original Sanskrit word for “war” means “desire for more cows”.

Babies are born without knee caps.

Almost a third of all people flush the toilet while they’re still sitting on it.

The Bible is the number one shoplifted book in America.

The commonly used @ symbol in email addresses is called a “chiocciolina” in Italy meaning “little snail”, a “klammeraffe” in Germany meaning “spider monkey” and a “‘kanel-bolle” in Norway meaning “a spiral shaped cinamon cake.

And just to prove that it’s not all non-football randomness…

Tottenham Hotspur didn’t have a single player sent off in a Football League match between October 27th 1928 and December 4th 1965.

Keep it real.

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

The force is strong with this one…

Although much of the galaxy was immersed in the 6 Nations battles at the weekend, the true fights for domination were going on as follows:

Man Utd 0 – 0 Tottenham (Man Utd win 4-1 on penalties)
Middlesbrough 2 – 0 Liverpool
Chelsea 2 – 1 Wigan
Aston Villa 2 – 2 Stoke
Arsenal 0 – 0 Fulham
Bolton 1 – 0 Newcastle
Hull 1 – 2 Blackburn
West Ham 1 – 0 Man City
Everton 2 – 0 West Brom

This led us to the end of the month prizes:

Supreme Commander (most points): Steve Kellman (250). With mention to runner up Chris Bevan (223) and 3rd Mark Edgerley (211).

Heroic Soldier (most positions): Tom Jones (up 26). With mention to runner up Alex Higgs (23) and Gary Baker (19).

Fallen Warrior (biggest faller): Carys Schleising (down 21). With mention to runner-up Rich Thomas (down 20) and 3rd Simon Laesser (down 19).

Space Cowboys (Fun Game 1): Kirsty Wheeler
Space Cowboys (Fun Game 2): Rhodri Evans

Bounty Hunters (Lucky Dip Group 1): Emma Gallagher
Bounty Hunters (Lucky Dip Group 2): Paul Hollands
Bounty Hunters (Lucky Dip Group 3): Jake Alexander

Until next time….. STAY ON TARGET!!!

Only a few Cup games this week, but there were some pleasant surprises there as Chelsea crashed out to Burnley on penalties, Tottenham took Liverpool to the cleaners for the second time in as many weeks and Premiership sides Sunderland and Wigan also failed to make the next round.

As the big orange man says: you know when you’ve been tango’d…

Forgot to annouce the winners of the 2 fun cups last week but it was a high standard so I went around this morning getting the vote:

Game A – The answer is 3000, what is the question?

Winner was “dm” with “What is Chris Morteo’s weight in stones?”

With honourable mentions to “funk” and “how many miles did the proclaimers walk in their follow up single?”
and “q” and “how many miles does the average man utd fan live from the ground and still have the balls to say it’s their local team?”

Game B – What you won’t hear in the Queens Christmas speech?

Winner was “babacek” with “doesn’t Prince harry look like charles?”

With honourable mentions to “coogan” and “knowing me – the queen – knowing you – my minions – AH HA!!”
and “diamond” and “I’ve got the horn”

Well done to everyone who entered though – some quality answers – go read ‘em.

This months new games are as follows:

Game 5 – guess the total number of points all the managers in our league will score this month (£5) (clue beneath the hoff below)
Game 6 – what’s the worst \ funniest Christmas cracker joke you’ve seen? (£5)

Get cracking.

Have a great weekend.

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

So far this month, the total is 13,490 points…

you don’t have to be rich to be cool (http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/3699/coolmodivatepg0.jpg)

In the football you got a real sense the league table was beginning to shake itself out, with Hull continuing their losing streak and Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal all breaking clear at the top. It was a weekend for doubles with Sanli, Anelka, Bent, Nasri, Saha and Keane all bagging 2 goals each. This means that in our table, Scally and Ian C climb into 2nd and 3rd, closely followed by Lyons and with Stacey breaking into 9th place. Iwan and Kokbun are also putting pressure on the top 10.

More games mid week so let’s just leave it at that shall we?

Indeed.

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

Ffffwwwoooooooo….

(the winds of change as Spurs won their first League game of the season)

ROAAAAAARRRRRRR….

(the reception that new manager Redknapp got as he came on to the pitch)

Aaaaahhhhhhh….

(the collective sighs of relief from thousands of supporters around the country)

Elsewhere in the league, Liverpool ended Chelsea’s monstrous unbeaten home record thanks to a 10th minute goal from Alonso. Man City saw their big money signing Robinho live up to his credentials with a hat-trick against Stoke. Adebayor’s injury time goal made it 2 nil for Arsenal against West Ham whist Aston Villa put 4 past Wigan away from home. Man U were held to a 1 all draw by Everton despite an eary goal from Fletcher, whilst sorry Newcastle suffered another defeat, this time to Sunderland. New boys Hull continued their blinding start to the season with a 3 nill win over West Brom, courtesy of Zayatte, Geovanni and King.

This is how some of the mini battles in the League are going…
- in the Lyons \ Brown \ Quirk battle – Chris has taken a commanding early lead with both his teams sitting in the top 30
- in the Ward \ Kingman \ Smith \ Groves showdown – it’s Emily who is calling the shots holding on to a top 30 spot
- in the Thomas \ Lloyd \ Kellman challenge – it’s Rich who has climbed one more place into 4th who is the man to beat
- in the Dennis \ Alexander \ Schleising \ Blackstock session – it’s Nick who climbs another 8 but closely followed by Jock in 13th
- in the Millo \ Wheeler \ Brean face-off – it’s Dave who’s top dog in 18th after a big drop of 27 places takes Kirsty down past Stacey
- in the Baker \ Edgerley \ Else rumble – it’s Scally who’s lording it up in the top 10 with the other two sitting in the 50′s
- in the Jones \ Graham \ Baber \ Radford wrestle – it’s Tim who has pulled clear of Ghosty with Neilos and Jack struggling lower down
…and it goes on…

The clocks might have been put back but there’s always time for a mexican wave…

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

A good weekend of sport with Hamilton winning the Chinese Grand Prize, Murrary taking his second Masters title and Tottenham continuing to show the kind of form you would normally need a pooper-scooper for. I’m sure any of us could be paid millions of pounds to lose 8 games on the trot but they did it with style on Sunday and had two players sent off and another knocked unconcious – leaving the pitch with an oxygen mask. Not only that – the injury was suffered during a collision with his own goalie. I just made £500 on that – thank you You’ve Been Framed.

Anyway it was an entertaining event elsewhere with Aresenal netting 3, Liverpool 3, Man U 4 and Chelsea 5 with goals from the likes of Kalou, Lampard, Rooney, Ronaldo, Berbatov, Kuyt, Van Persie and Walcott.

In our League – Sibley, Bickel and Edgerley all step up into the top 10 – with Alex, Stacey, Ricky, Rawlings and Dean all clocking up some 25+ position climbs whilst Lloydy did indeed “Dance with the devil in the pale moonlight” and came off worse – down 20 places.

In fairness though, football isn’t for everyone – so perhaps you should try watching or take part in one of the UK’s 10 weirdest sports – including wife carrying, cheese rolling and chess boxing. To learn more, please check out: http://www.weirdlevel.com/2008/10/10-weirdest-sports.html – I think you’ll agree there’s something for all tastes. Mine’s edam.

Game on.

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

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Remember: the two fun competitions are underway for the month so go online and leave your suggestions. You’ve got to be in it to win it. No limit on entries. It’s all for fun.