2011 is upon us and that means we can do another tasty update. This file goes up to the first week of January – so again there’s been a lot of movement.

Before we do that though, let’s take a look at these 10 things that the World Sports Network told us to watch out for this season:

1. Chelsea wins back to back titles
2. Drogba to score 25+
3. Rooney to get extremely frustrated
4. Sir Alex Ferguson to retire at season’s end, will complain on the way
5. Roberto Mancini’s job to come under question
6. New owners and excitement for Liverpool
7. Chicharito to secure best young player of the year award
8. Intense battle for 4th
9. Newcastle to stay on top, Blackpool relegated
10. 25 Player cap, 8 homegrown

Well if I had to rattle through those I’d say:

1) In Drogba’s dreams
2) Ssshhh… he’s still sleeping
3) Rooney = Frustration
4) Fergie is immortal, he will never retire
5) The only manager who will never be questioned is Fergie
6) Liverpool have more new owners \ managers than Blackpool has supporters
7) The anti-roooney
8) Spurs don’t need 4th place – they’re going to win Europe on first attempt
9) Blackpool to take 4th spot
10) What do you call 8 English players on a bench? A football team.

In our league, it’s uncomfortably close, with just 27 points seperating 20th place and 11th place, just 32 points seperating 30th place and 21st place, just 17 points seperating 40th place and 31st place – need I go on?

Remember: Pain Heals, Chicks Dig Scars, Ferguson Lasts Forever

Also: Use those transfers

Peace out.

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

We’ve had a bit of a break since the first update due to International matches but now we are back in the thick of it…

The weekend was a surprise-orama with many of the big teams struggling to find wins: Spurs held by West Brom, Man City held by Blackburn, Liverpool held by Birmigham and Everton coming back from 2 goals behind to draw with Man U. If that wasn’t enough then Blackpool continue their dream Premier League campaign with a 2 nil win over Newcastle, whilst Chelsea and Arsenal recorded thumping wins to stay 1st and 2nd in the League.

I’ll let you look for yourself what this means for our fantasy league but as this is the second update… we have movement… and movement means banter!!

I forgot to mention last week that the website is where the latest league table will be put going forward – rather than sending it as an attachment every week.

Each update (i.e. the factual yet amusing editorial above) will also be put online – and you can of course leave comments.

Hopefully it all displays ok on everyone’s computers but any probs give me a shout.

Just click on “Our League Table” (top right) to view the latest scores on the doors.

This just got serious!!

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

p.s. I’m not sure if everyone saw but the lady who made the news last week by putting a cat in a bin, has had her Twitter account hacked, I’ve copied it below for you to read:

“Just passed a shoe shop. Threw one of the sample shoes outside on top of a bus. Why do I do these things?”

“In Tescos now. I’ve put some frozen sausages in with the cereals. They’ll probably go off. I draw no pleasure from this.”

“It means I’ll have to carry the bags most of the way home, but this trolley’s going in the canal.”

“No.35 hasn’t taken her milk in. Really feel like pouring it through the letterbox for her. What am I like?”

“Just kicked the head off next door’s gnome. For a joke. Who’s laughing now though? Not me. Not me.”

“Took the rubbish out. Before I knew what I was doing, I’d swung the bag round and flung it over the fence. I think it’s in their tree. WHY?”

“Lovely coffee at Brenda’s, but as soon as she left the room I couldn’t help tipping it down the back of her telly. Regretting it already.”

“If they don’t want people to do what I’ve just done in the gallery, they shouldn’t sell pens in the gift shop. Sat on coach now. Bit lonely.”

“Waiting for a relief coach at the services because some of the tyres were flat. I can feel some of the church social ladies staring at me.”

“No answer at Brenda’s. Thought she might come over, what with her telly being bust. Bit of company.”

“Her across the way came looking for her wind chimes earlier. I told her I didn’t have them. I don’t. They’re on her roof, where I threw ‘em”

“At my niece’s birthday party. The cake’s in the pond. It’s not going down as well as I thought.”

“There’s a rude word on the window of this cafe written in squirty ketchup. I think the owner thinks I did it. I know I did. Embarrassed.”

“The dripping word I’m sat under is something I’d never say or type. People are looking in. This is the tensest egg bap I’ve ever eaten.”

“At church. Enjoyed the sermon, but kept showing the vicar the finger every time I caught his eye. Not sure he ‘got’ it. Mortified if not.”

“Invited Brenda round for a Sunday roast. Went well. She didn’t finish her dessert so I poured it into her handbag. She can have it later.”

“Watering next door’s houseplants while they’re away, but I only have a rough idea how far I threw their keys after I waved them off. Why me?”

“In next door’s porch. I can see a couple of the plants from the letterbox, but the hose isn’t reaching very well. I don’t need this.”

“In next door’s lounge. Got in by putting the gnome through the front window. All the plants are watered now. Quite pleased.”

“Having a quiet drink at the social club with Brenda. Her handbag smells quite bad now. Hope no one thinks it’s me.”

“Went in to sort next door’s mail, but I’ve shredded things I ought not have. Trying to draw them some new certificates. Guessing the grades.”

“I popped Brenda’s coat on a hanger in Oxfam while she was in the ladies. She’s in a bidding war with another customer now. Bit of a scene.”

Our home has been transformed into a Santa Claus shrine, complete with 7.5ft Christmas tree, 100 baubels and enough tinsel to ensnare a small army of happy elves. Beer has been replaced by mulled wine, Radio 1 has been blasted away by old school Christmas classics and my fridge seems dangerously over-stocked with figgy pudding and pigs in blankets!! (that’s the cheese wrapped in bacon variety by the way, a little bit classier than the average sausage ones, I think you’ll agree!!)

On the football front, we had European and Cup games last week, the World Cup draw and a full weekend of Premiership drama. Interestingly it will be the first World Cup that has no debutants and has every single past World Cup winner in the mix. After a favourable draw, Englands odds of winning were cut to less than Brazil with only Spain considered more likely to lift the trophy. All I want now is another Tony Christie remix and I will be officialy pscyhed!!

There were crazy scenes on Sunday as Everton fought back from 2 nil down against Spurs to equalise with 5 minutes to go – only to have a penalty awarded against them in extra time – and to see their American keeper Tim Howard save Defoe’s spot kick. Meanwhile Adebayor went from villain to hero, as he gifted Chelsea an own goal in the 8th minute, before scoring for Man City in the 37th. Tevez sealed the deal in the 56th, as the gap at the top of the league continues to tighten. Man U had a fun away game with West Ham, as Scholes, Gibson, Valencia and Rooney all found the net. With only 10 points between 12th place Blackburn and 3rd place Arsenal, this season is wide open…

So in our little league, there is a similar story with just 100 points seperating 20th place and top spot (still held by Luan but with gap closing). Interesting a lot of the top 10 recorded low points for the week, with many of those in the 10 to 20 spots clocking up some hefty scores to apply the old pressre. All the transfers have come into effect for December, giving us a grand total of 243 made so far.

Until next time… don’t eat yellow snow.

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

funny christmas

Man U beat Chelsea, Arsenal got another 4 goals, Aston Villa another 5, Liverpool still to play tonight and there’s only 10 points between 17th place in the Premiership and a European 5th spot!!!

Add in the excitement as England and Wales lost to Australia and New Zealand in two intensely close international rugby games – and the fact that David Haye became boxing’s heavy weight champion beating his 7ft Russian opponent – and you could say it was a glorious weekend.

And that’s without mentioning Murray winning the Valencia Open tennis title or Zenyatta sensationally winning the Breeders’ Cup Classic, the richest race on the two-day card at Santa Anita, becoming the first female to win the Classic in its 26-year history!!!

But enough of that, in our league the November transfers all came into effect but position 1, 2 and 3 all stayed the same as Luan, Andy and Anna looked solid. Nathan D was the only new entry in to the top 10 whilst M Davey continued his recent great performance climbing another 3 places into 6th. Dan Jones logged a strong result, up 12 places into the money spots (17th) and both Martyn Jenkins and Dave Thomas rose 14 places, just outside the top 20.

No need to mention names but 5 teams saw minus points this weekend whilst “Aubrey Town” clocked a giant 72 points to climb 30 places!!!

Metro readers today would have seen the following myths debunked: you should drink 8 glasses of water a day, eating at night makes you fat and swallowing gum stays in your stomach 7 years.

So I’ll give you one more myth…

Success in Fantasy Football correlates to your football knowledge.

Keep the faith.

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

Do I comment on Liverpool beating Man U… Stoke beating Spurs… or Villa, Arsenal and Man City all being held to disappointing draws?

Perhaps I should focus on the fact that 5 of our top 6 managers are ladies and that there are none in the bottom 10?

Or maybe you’d be more interested to know that in 1843, a Parisian street mime got stuck in his imaginary box and consequently died of starvation?

I thought so. Here are a few more amazing facts for you…

A cat’s purr has the same romance-enhancing frequency as the voice of singer Barry White.

Ben and Jerry’s sends the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff.

The original Sanskrit word for “war” means “desire for more cows”.

Babies are born without knee caps.

Almost a third of all people flush the toilet while they’re still sitting on it.

The Bible is the number one shoplifted book in America.

The commonly used @ symbol in email addresses is called a “chiocciolina” in Italy meaning “little snail”, a “klammeraffe” in Germany meaning “spider monkey” and a “‘kanel-bolle” in Norway meaning “a spiral shaped cinamon cake.

And just to prove that it’s not all non-football randomness…

Tottenham Hotspur didn’t have a single player sent off in a Football League match between October 27th 1928 and December 4th 1965.

Keep it real.

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

BAM!!! Torres seals a 3 – 2 win for Liverpool over West Ham.
BIFF!!! Vermaelen, Eduardo and Fabregas pound Wigan 4 nil.
KAPOW!!! Owen breaks hearts in 96th minute in 4 – 3 Manchester derby thriller.
WHAPP!!! Chelsea still unbeaten thanks to Cole, Ballack and Drogba.

Holy-smokin’ corner flag Batman, what does that mean?

It means that although I stay top of the League, the gap has closed massively as I got a measly 35 points whilst the Oestrich family were on fire, with Luan getting a massive 102 points at the weekend (up 15 places) and Caden getting 86 points (up 32 places). “The Human Miscalculators” were also up 90 points (51 places), “Robo’s Relegation Squad” up 85 points (38 places) and “Green Giants” up 84 points (29 places).
The Jokers of the pack this week were Adrian D with just 4 points, Adrian T with 13 points, Jack R with 16 points, Oz 16 with points and Gemma with 18 points. Fear not though, it is very early days in the season and so much can change. For example you know all those teams above you that have Drogba, Robinho, King, Modric, Rafael, Heskey, Van Der Sar? Well they’re all injured. DOUBLE-BOFF!!!

Golly Batman, what else has been going on?

Well, transfer requests have started to come in – and these will come into effect from the start of October.
We’ve also started to receive everyone’s £5 team payment – but as I only gave the bank account details last week, I’l give to the end of the month before we start naming and shaming.

To the Batmobile…

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

The force is strong with this one…

Although much of the galaxy was immersed in the 6 Nations battles at the weekend, the true fights for domination were going on as follows:

Man Utd 0 – 0 Tottenham (Man Utd win 4-1 on penalties)
Middlesbrough 2 – 0 Liverpool
Chelsea 2 – 1 Wigan
Aston Villa 2 – 2 Stoke
Arsenal 0 – 0 Fulham
Bolton 1 – 0 Newcastle
Hull 1 – 2 Blackburn
West Ham 1 – 0 Man City
Everton 2 – 0 West Brom

This led us to the end of the month prizes:

Supreme Commander (most points): Steve Kellman (250). With mention to runner up Chris Bevan (223) and 3rd Mark Edgerley (211).

Heroic Soldier (most positions): Tom Jones (up 26). With mention to runner up Alex Higgs (23) and Gary Baker (19).

Fallen Warrior (biggest faller): Carys Schleising (down 21). With mention to runner-up Rich Thomas (down 20) and 3rd Simon Laesser (down 19).

Space Cowboys (Fun Game 1): Kirsty Wheeler
Space Cowboys (Fun Game 2): Rhodri Evans

Bounty Hunters (Lucky Dip Group 1): Emma Gallagher
Bounty Hunters (Lucky Dip Group 2): Paul Hollands
Bounty Hunters (Lucky Dip Group 3): Jake Alexander

Until next time….. STAY ON TARGET!!!

you don’t have to be rich to be cool (http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/3699/coolmodivatepg0.jpg)

In the football you got a real sense the league table was beginning to shake itself out, with Hull continuing their losing streak and Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal all breaking clear at the top. It was a weekend for doubles with Sanli, Anelka, Bent, Nasri, Saha and Keane all bagging 2 goals each. This means that in our table, Scally and Ian C climb into 2nd and 3rd, closely followed by Lyons and with Stacey breaking into 9th place. Iwan and Kokbun are also putting pressure on the top 10.

More games mid week so let’s just leave it at that shall we?

Indeed.

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

Ffffwwwoooooooo….

(the winds of change as Spurs won their first League game of the season)

ROAAAAAARRRRRRR….

(the reception that new manager Redknapp got as he came on to the pitch)

Aaaaahhhhhhh….

(the collective sighs of relief from thousands of supporters around the country)

Elsewhere in the league, Liverpool ended Chelsea’s monstrous unbeaten home record thanks to a 10th minute goal from Alonso. Man City saw their big money signing Robinho live up to his credentials with a hat-trick against Stoke. Adebayor’s injury time goal made it 2 nil for Arsenal against West Ham whist Aston Villa put 4 past Wigan away from home. Man U were held to a 1 all draw by Everton despite an eary goal from Fletcher, whilst sorry Newcastle suffered another defeat, this time to Sunderland. New boys Hull continued their blinding start to the season with a 3 nill win over West Brom, courtesy of Zayatte, Geovanni and King.

This is how some of the mini battles in the League are going…
- in the Lyons \ Brown \ Quirk battle – Chris has taken a commanding early lead with both his teams sitting in the top 30
- in the Ward \ Kingman \ Smith \ Groves showdown – it’s Emily who is calling the shots holding on to a top 30 spot
- in the Thomas \ Lloyd \ Kellman challenge – it’s Rich who has climbed one more place into 4th who is the man to beat
- in the Dennis \ Alexander \ Schleising \ Blackstock session – it’s Nick who climbs another 8 but closely followed by Jock in 13th
- in the Millo \ Wheeler \ Brean face-off – it’s Dave who’s top dog in 18th after a big drop of 27 places takes Kirsty down past Stacey
- in the Baker \ Edgerley \ Else rumble – it’s Scally who’s lording it up in the top 10 with the other two sitting in the 50′s
- in the Jones \ Graham \ Baber \ Radford wrestle – it’s Tim who has pulled clear of Ghosty with Neilos and Jack struggling lower down
…and it goes on…

The clocks might have been put back but there’s always time for a mexican wave…

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

A good weekend of sport with Hamilton winning the Chinese Grand Prize, Murrary taking his second Masters title and Tottenham continuing to show the kind of form you would normally need a pooper-scooper for. I’m sure any of us could be paid millions of pounds to lose 8 games on the trot but they did it with style on Sunday and had two players sent off and another knocked unconcious – leaving the pitch with an oxygen mask. Not only that – the injury was suffered during a collision with his own goalie. I just made £500 on that – thank you You’ve Been Framed.

Anyway it was an entertaining event elsewhere with Aresenal netting 3, Liverpool 3, Man U 4 and Chelsea 5 with goals from the likes of Kalou, Lampard, Rooney, Ronaldo, Berbatov, Kuyt, Van Persie and Walcott.

In our League – Sibley, Bickel and Edgerley all step up into the top 10 – with Alex, Stacey, Ricky, Rawlings and Dean all clocking up some 25+ position climbs whilst Lloydy did indeed “Dance with the devil in the pale moonlight” and came off worse – down 20 places.

In fairness though, football isn’t for everyone – so perhaps you should try watching or take part in one of the UK’s 10 weirdest sports – including wife carrying, cheese rolling and chess boxing. To learn more, please check out: http://www.weirdlevel.com/2008/10/10-weirdest-sports.html – I think you’ll agree there’s something for all tastes. Mine’s edam.

Game on.

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

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Remember: the two fun competitions are underway for the month so go online and leave your suggestions. You’ve got to be in it to win it. No limit on entries. It’s all for fun.