First up a big thanks to Jack for collating all the teams whilst I was away – and second of all for putting together a nice new easy to update Excel file.

I think we should pause on that last fact for just one second before we continue…

I did not setup the file this year… so whatever happens, my hands are clean!!

So you can imagine how thrilled I was to see that when Jack sent me the file for the first time today… that I was top!!!

Ha ha… Brilliant… you couldn’t make it up!!

Anyway you can now expect weeklly(ish) updates.

See the file attached.

Table 31082010

Time for a few facts:

So who were the most popular players picked this year?

Rooney in 47 teams
Cole in 41 teams
Lampard in 39 teams
Gerrard in 38 teams
Jagielka in 35 teams
Drogba in 33 teams

Who are best value players at this early stage?

Diouf with 23 points per million
Carroll with 20 points per million
Knight with 12 points per million
Elmander with 12 points per million
Harewood with 12 points per million
Ormerod with 12 points per million

I wonder how many have got players from that list?!!

As we always say though, it’s a marathon and not a sprint… but it has been a good start for Ed and Sam who take 2nd and 3rd place. Lizzie and Tim make up the rest of the top 5, whilst 6 to 10 consists of Steven, Carl, Nick, Jamie and Simon. Good work everyone but don’t get too big for your boots – the banter will be even worse on the way down!!

EVERYONE WILL GET 4 TRANSFERS THIS YEAR
These can be sent in at any time and will come into effect from the next Friday

Prizes and “bonus” stuff to be announced shortly

I am beyond excited so in honour I am going to share with you a few classic little jokes that I recently heard…

Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fun guy!

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!

What’s red and sits in the corner?
A naught strawberry!

What’s green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!

I have CDO. It’s like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but in alphabetical order as it should be.

And my personal favourite…

Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road last night.
One was a salted.

———————

IT HAS BEGUN.

(drum roll, please)

This year, the prizes are stretching down to 20th place…

(dramatic pause)

A total of 58 different people have won prizes this year, so let’s just recap on some of the monthly prizes that were won…

(deep breath)

Septemeber
Most points – Anna Millington £6
Bonus – Michael Davey £1, Gerrard Crispie £1, Mat James £1
Lucky – Sam Brown £4

October
Most points – M Davey £6
Most places – Emily Ward £5
Bonus – 50p each – Quirky, Fitzpatrick, J Cann, Wheeler (D), M Davey, Cameron, Caden Oestrich, Joanne S, James M, Andrew Edwards, A Kyle, Steven Williams, Nicolas Threasher, Tim Littler, Jake Alexander, Jon Griffiths, Nia Williams and Mat James

November
Most points – Greg Else £6
Most places – Nick Day £5
Bonus – Nick Day £1 and Helen MacInnes £1
Fun – Jon Griffiths £3, Ken Stafford £3

December
Most points – Stefan G £6
Most places – Gemma Johns £5
Bonus: James Alexander £1

January
Most points – Kokbun Lee £6
Most places – Cerys Owen £5
Bonus – Leigh Styles £1 and Andrew Oestrich £1

February
Most points – Greg Else £6
Most places – Leigh Styles £5
Bonus – Elise Rafferty £1

March
Most points – Tom Jones £6
Most places – Rhodri Evans £5
Bonus – M Davey £1 and Andy Robertshaw £1

Well done to all these people, but lets get serious now…

(no jokin’ around)

So the top 20… in reverse order…

(intense?)

£5 20th 1865 points Dave Thomas shining whites
£6 19th 1882 points Dan Jones How do you like them apples?
£7 18th 1890 points Greg Else PIVOT!!
£8 17th 1911 points Chris Lyons Real Betis Hot Pot
£9 16th 1918 points Nick Sibley SPORTING MILDRID
£10 15th 1922 points Ksenia Shirokova Patrick Swansea
£11 14th 1939 points Joanne Sheen Jo-Jo’s Yo-Yos
£12 13th 1940 points Cameron Bowes Inter The Dragon
£13 12th 1950 points Sathika WickremesingheDances with Wicks
£14 11th 1974 points Kokbun Lee I wonder who has managed to submit the longest team name for this years amazing fantasy football?

Well done everybody, impressive stuff, and on to the Top 10 of power…

£20 10th 1998 points Carys Stonelake Schling-Stone United
£25 9th 2011 points Steven Williams I love it when a plan comes together
£30 8th 2019 points Andy Groves Kajagoogoo clowns
£35 7th 2023 points Dan Marshall There’s only one Muzzy Izzet
£40 6th 2035 points Steve Dennis In Ste We Trust
£50 5th 2041 points Chris Lyons Sclungethorpe United
£60 4th 2075 points Anna Millington The Tartan Army
£70 3rd 2077 points Jamie Keddle Abercanaid 3rd’s, the second team were rubbish last year
£80 2nd 2135 points Tom Jones Badger Claw III: Chasing The Dream

Which means that in the final month, we had a new winner… leapfrogging by just 7 points…

£150 1st 2142 points Joanne Sheen She-e-no’s Best

Congratulations Jo, great skills – and a big well done to our top 10 this year. Can you defend your places next year? Time will tell.

Will be in touch in a few months to start planning the 2010 \ 2011 competition.

Couple more prizes to give away during that time, such as best team name, best banter, most inspired transfer etc and we’ll be using these to get the hype for next season.

Until next time…

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

(final file available online)

Wednesday’s showdown between Manchester City and Tottenham, a match that amounts to a Champions League play-off, is of huge significance. Not only to the two clubs concerned, who stand on the threshold of the most exclusive group in the English game, but potentially for the entire competitive balance of the Premier League for years to come.

Some believe that if Roberto Mancini completes the task he was brought in to do, Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed al-Nahyan will embark on a fresh spending spree the like of which has never been seen before in English football. Encouraged by another high-profile platform with which to promote the Emirate of Abu Dhabi, the club’s owners will find it even easier to attract the world’s best players, possibly consigning Liverpool to years of mid-table frustration in the process.

But are we in danger of over-playing the importance of a City victory on Wednesday? Is this really the biggest game in the club’s history? Are we truly on the brink of a new era for the English game? And what would happen if City fail and Spurs qualify instead?

Intense stuff, I think you can agree.

But let’s leave it to the mighty BBC commentator, Caroline Cheese to pick up from here… (edited for the best bits!!)

18:51 Here it is: Manchester City v Tottenham in a showdown worth somewhere between £30m and £60m.

18:56 City boss Roberto Mancini says: “There is no pressure. It is a football match, not a war.” However his programme notes tell a rather different story: “All our players want to be in Champions League and so do I. This game now becomes the most important game for this club for many years.” But no pressure though, right?

19:16 I think I can safely say that I have never seen so many texts / 606 messages / tweets for a midweek game before.

19:44 It’s like a contest between City and Spurs fans for (a) how nervous they are, and (b) how little faith they have in their teams. More breaking news from Eastlands: Roberto Mancini is wearing THE scarf.

19:52 With NINE minutes to go until kick-off, the crowd at Eastlands are treated to a rendition of Nessun Dorma by a singer I don’t recognise. Some Spurs fans don’t seem to be loving it… We’re on to Blue Moon now, the City scarves are in the air. All slightly surreal but went down a storm with the locals.

19:57 After all that, I’ve started to feel a bit nervous myself. Here come the teams. The atmosphere is IMMENSE.

20:10 Brilliant, brilliant skill from Carlos Tevez as he darts between two defenders on the left, but Heurelho Gomes bundles the ball behind for a corner which comes to nothing. Tevez looking very dangerous

20:19 Wayne Bridge’s foul on Younes Kaboul gives Gareth Bale the chance to fizz over a free-kick from the right and Peter Crouch heads against the post. Seconds later, Bale is in space in the box but sees his shot blocked.

20:22 Goal… disallowed, but the Spurs pressure is building. Ledley King is climbing on Gareth Barry as he heads home a Gareth Bale corner. Steve Bennett in no doubt about that one.

20:28 And now Spurs have to defend a corner. It’s a pretty poor one by Craig Bellamy – but it comes out to Adam Johnson, whose fiercely struck effort is well-saved to his left by Heurelho Gomes

20:35 Another excellent save by Heurelho Gomes – this time from team-mate Gareth Bale. Gareth Barry’s ball in hits Bale and almost creeps inside the post, but Gomes scrambles to his left and pushes it away

20:40 I thought it was in. Peter Crouch nods down Aaron Lennon’s cross for Gareth Bale, who meets it beautifully on the half-volley but the ball flies just wide. Great half of football.

20:44 Kolo Toure heads wide with a free header and then straight at Heurelho Gomes. Another two chances go begging… Hard to believe it’s still 0-0 with only a few minutes until half-time.

20:50 HALF-TIME Man City 0-0 Tottenham

21:06 Roberto Mancini takes his pitchside seat early and the camera zooms right in on the Italian’s face… He looks like he’s aged about 20 years during that half. As the players come out, Mancini folds his arms, leans forward and gently rocks back and forth.

21:17 Great ball from Gareth Bale for Jermain Defoe, who flicks the shot with the outside of his right foot. Marton Fulop makes an excellent save to tip it around the post. Defoe’s been very quiet tonight – but that was so, so close.

21:19 Tackles fly in just outside the Man City box as the ball pings around, and tempers almost flare… Tom Huddlestone isn’t happy with Nigel de Jong’s wild challenge and flicks a leg out at the Dutchman.

21:32 Agony for Spurs fans. Benoit Assou-Ekotto fires in a super ball from the left and first Jermain Defoe stretches and misses, and then Peter Crouch does exactly the same.

21:39 Peter Crouch rises to head home Gareth Bale’s cross… surely… no, he’s gone too close to Marton Fulop.

21:44 GOALFLASH Man City 0-1 Tottenham (Crouch) Tottenham goal: Eight minutes remaining… Younes Kaboul goes past Craig Bellamy on the right and his cross clips off Wayne Bridge, catching Marton Fulop unawares. The keeper can only palm the ball at Peter Crouch, who manages to react in time to head back past Fulop. What an important goal that could be…

21:46 This could wrap it up. Gareth Bale breaks down the left and Roman Pavlyuchenko – on for Jermain Defoe a few minutes ago – is waiting in the middle, but Nigel de Jong cuts out the cross.

21:49 Man City fans head for the exits with three minutes remaining

21:55 Spurs threatening a second. Roman Pavlyuchenko is so unlucky. He runs onto a ball on the edge of the area, hits it first time with his right foot and sees Marton Fulop tip it around the post.

21:56 FULL-TIME Man City 0-1 Tottenham

21:57 Tottenham’s players begin some wild celebrations. They know they will play in the Champions League next season for the first time in their history… And they could yet pip Arsenal for third and avoid the annoyance of a qualifier.

21:58 Craig Bellamy wears a huge grin as he shakes hands with Spurs boss Harry Redknapp. Interesting… And it will be interesting to see who’s still at Eastlands next season. Bellamy? Tevez? Mancini?

22:05 The Spurs fans at Eastlands aren’t going anywhere as they celebrate a magnificent win. It’s got to be agony for those City fans who are still in the ground. Not sure why they’re still in the ground. Are City’s players planning an end-of-season lap of honour? Surely not…

22:12 Hahaha. Harry Redknapp is talking to the TV cameras and a group of players led by David Bentley creep up and empty a massive bucket of water over him. He’s drenched. Completely drenched. Not sure that mic’s going to work either.

Transmission Ended.

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com (end of season update not far away now!!)

Everyone seems a little paranoid today, not accepting anything given to them, crossing the corridor to steer clear of people, checking every door and seat near them, basically playing it safe by avoiding any human contact for 24 hours. Just remember that it works both ways – next time your manager says to you “let’s go for a meeting”, just say “a likely story!!” and stay where you are until the day safely passes. If your other half asks you to tidy up, try the easy response of “I’m not falling for that one!!”. You can literally get out of everything today on the pretense of it being a setup. Quality.

Back in fantasy football world though, last nights Champion League clashes finished off another month. Tom Jones picks up the Manager of the Month prize with 316 points, closely beating Rhodri Evans with 309 and Ksenia Shirokova with 305. Thankfully there is some justice in the world though and Rhodri did pick up the Highest Climber prize, up 39 places, again narrowly beating Scott Marshall up 30 and Jon Edwards up 27. Meanwhile Michael Davey (1400) and Andy Robertshaw (1300) both pick up a quid for finishing the month on a perfect hundred.

So which players have been the best value for money? Well R Johnson is 140 points per £m but has been chosen by 31 of our teams. Meanwhile J Craddock is 116 points per £m but just one person has him. There’s also been some great value in J O’Hara at 91points per £m (3 teams), S Carr at 89 points per £m (2 teams), M Etherington 89 points per £m (1 team) and L Bowyer 84 points per £m (1 team).

It’s also interesting to look at the most chosen players this season. Lampard is in 90 teams but has justified himself with 271 points so far. How about Gerrard though? Same price (£8.5m) and in 75 teams but has scored just 165 points? Rooney has definitely been good value, in 63 teams and racking up a massive 368 points. Owen is still languishing in 49 teams but has just 79 points and likewise Turner is in 41 teams but managed just 62 points?

That’s it for now. Just been reading some of the greatest April Fools pranks of all time. Here are a couple of classics:

In April 1976, the British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47 AM a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur that listeners could experience in their very own homes. The planet Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, temporarily causing a gravitational alignment that would counteract and lessen the Earth’s own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment that this planetary alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, BBC2 began to receive hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman even reported that she and her eleven friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room!!!

In April 1998, Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a “Left-Handed Whopper” specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, “many others requested their own ‘right handed’ version.”

In April 1977, the British newspaper The Guardian published a special seven-page supplement devoted to San Serriffe, a small republic said to consist of several semi-colon-shaped islands located in the Indian Ocean. A series of articles affectionately described the geography and culture of this obscure nation. Its two main islands were named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. Its capital was Bodoni, and its leader was General Pica. The Guardian’s phones rang all day as readers sought more information about the idyllic holiday spot. Only a few noticed that everything about the island was named after printer’s terminology. The success of this hoax is widely credited with launching the enthusiasm for April Foolery that gripped the British tabloids in subsequent decades.

In April 1995, Discover Magazine reported that the highly respected wildlife biologist Dr. Aprile Pazzo had found a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. These fascinating creatures had bony plates on their heads that, fed by numerous blood vessels, could become burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speeds. They used this ability to hunt penguins, melting the ice beneath the penguins and causing them to sink downwards into the resulting slush where the hotheads consumed them. After much research, Dr. Pazzo theorized that the hotheads might have been responsible for the mysterious disappearance of noted Antarctic explorer Philippe Poisson in 1837. “To the ice borers, he would have looked like a penguin,” the article quoted her as saying. Discover received more mail in response to this article than they had received for any other article in their history.

Full list here: http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/aprilfool/

Have an EGGcelent weekend!!!

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

(dramatic pause)

First of all, check out the 6 Types of Hug… I am sure we all know at least one person who is a big fan of “The Crusher”!!!

Or if handshaking is more your thing, then you’ll definitely enjoy this link to the 9 Types of Handshake, and will undoubtedly recognise such moves as the “The Hipster”!!!

As for the fantasy football update, there’s a good two weeks of points in this update, but even so it was an impressive display from Carys who gained 205 points and climbed 3 more crucial places into 6th spot, and from Ksenia who delivered 206 points, up 3 and now sitting just outside the top 10. Tom “Badger Claw” Jones made some late but tactical transfers and has become our new number 1 spot person, whilst transfers from Dan and Steve couldn’t compete with this weeks high flyers, slipping slightly down the top 10 leaderboard. Lyonsy now has two teams in the top 20, whilst Millo saw his team jump 5 places into 15th, but it was a fortnight to forget for Stacey who managed to pick up minus points. Rhodri, Angus, Baker, Mystery Girl and Jon Eds all rose over 20 places each but as we know, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction – this time in the form of Rhodri. Louise, Chris, Matt and Emily.

Easter is on the way – the only time it’s acceptable to surprise someone with an egg.

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

Februarys Manager of the Month prize goes to, well, me!! I got 283 points, closely followed by Dan Marshall 273 and Joanne Sheen 259.

Februarys Highest Climber prize goes to Leigh Styles who climbed 32 places with Matt Jones just missing out up 31 and Richard Spokes up 29.

Elise Rafferty also picks up £1 for finishing the month on a perfect 100. (900)

The top 20 is chopping and changing faster than Lady Gaga’s outfits, with yet another new number 1, this time in the form of Joanne Sheen whilst we also see a bunch of new entries into the top 20 in the form of Dave Millington, Dave Thomas, Cameron Bowes and Ksenia Shirokova.

I’m off on holiday now for 2 weeks, so next update upon my return.

Remember there is still a lot of the season left and for those of you with transfers left, it could be all you need to climb into those money-spots.

It’s closer than Han Solo is to his Wookie…

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

Anyway since its been 3 weeks of matches, this is one giant update with both Dan Marshall and myself getting over 200 points, and Matt Jones, Leigh Styles and Richard Spokes climbing 33 places, 27 places and 26 places respectively.

Not crazy enough – what about if I told you, we have a new No.1, 2 and 3?

Top shelf.

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

(picture removed)

Every now and again you find yourself watching or even being a part of something a little bit spectacular, something which you know will make the history books and that people will look back on in 50 years and say “remember when…”.

To give you a few examples, do you remember 2005 and the Ac Milan vs Liverpool Champions League Final? Held at Atatürk Stadium in Istanbul and with a monstrous 70,024 in attendance, Milan were regarded as favourites before the match and took the lead in the first minute through captain Paolo Maldini. Hernán Crespo added two more goals before half-time to make it 3-0. During the second half, Steven Gerrard, Vladimír Šmicer and Xabi Alonso scored three goals in six minutes for Liverpool to level the scores at 3-3. The scores remained the same during extra time, and a penalty shootout was required to decide the champions. The score was 3-2 to Liverpool when Andriy Shevchenko’s penalty was saved by Liverpool goalkeeper Jerzy Dudek. Thus Liverpool won their fifth European Cup. Regarded by many as the best match ever…

Or how about 1999 and the Manchester United vs Bayern Munich game? The action kicked off in Barcelona in front of a mind blowing 90,000 fans, but it was 1-0 to Bayern Munich throughout the entire match, until Man Utd score 2 goals in stoppage time to win the cup. United’s victory was the culmination of their Treble-winning season, after they had already won the FA Premier League and the FA Cup earlier in the month.

Or 2006 at the Cardiff Millenium Stadium, and Liverpool vs West Ham in the Cup? 71,140 in attendance and when West Ham went ahead 2-0, many thought it was all over. Even later on at 3-2 it looked like the match was sealed but Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard scored a goal in the last minute from 30-yards plus to take the game to extra-time and they eventually triumphed on penalties. It is considered by most who watched to be one of the greatest Cup Finals in the history of the tournament.

Ok one more for you, how about the Tottenham 4 Arsenal 5 game at White Hart Lane in 2004? Although Arsenal came out on top in a topsy-turvy north London derby, it was an amazing journey to the final whistle. Noureddine Naybet volleyed Spurs ahead before Thierry Henry levelled in first- half injury-time and Lauren’s penalty put Arsenal ahead after 53 minutes. Patrick Vieira added a third on the hour, and even though Jermain Defoe’s strike gave Spurs hope, Freddie Ljungberg restored the two-goal lead. Ledley King headed Spurs’ third, and even after Robert Pires hit Arsenal’s fifth, Freddie Kanoute was on target.

And of course only a few months ago, 30,000 plus faithful were treated to a record-breaking 9 – 1 game between Spurs and Wigan, where Defoe scored 5 goals and became only the third player, after Alan Shearer and Andy Cole to do so. Not just that but Tottenham scored eight times in the second half as Wigan sank without trace and Defoe notched a hat-trick in seven minutes, the second quickest since the inception of the Premier League in 1992. Oh good times and history was made.

Wow – that was a ramble – so back to last weekend and a very different kind of history being made. Sky showed the world’s first live 3D TV sports broadcast after being helped by the man behind the Hollywood blockbuster movie Avatar. With only 9 selected pubs in the entire country having this honour, it was with more than the usual happiness that I drank my beer whilst wearing special glasses to see the Arsenal vs Manchester United game in an extra dimension. What did I think? Well it had a lot of potential, I’m not sure the technology is quite there yet to stream 3D on the fly by the mili-second, but to be honest – bothered – because in 50 years time when its totally the norm to watch 3D TV, I’ll be able to say “I was there when it all began.”

——————————–

So it’s the end of the month, which means it’s prizes time. Kokbun Lee (£6) was the highest points manager with 271 points in the month, closely followed by Steve Dennis (261) and Chris Lyons (254). The £5 Highest Climber prize goes to Cerys Bowd (up 49 places) with Simon Laesser (up 43) and Sarah Groves (up 40) just missing out. There were also two lucky people who get £1 each for being on a multipe of 100, and they are Leigh Styles and Andrew Oestrich (800).

Well done to everyone, there is now less than 70 points between 1st place and 10th place – so it’s not long before some new history will be made.

You heard it here first, www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

It’s been another goal-fest this last week with Mr Rooney in particular on absolute fire.

15 people in the top 20 have moved up places, with the biggest points coming from Rawlings (129), Robinson (127) and Williams (126) – with Robinson also the highest climber (up 28 spots), Laesser (up 24), Cerys (up 24) and Radford (up 22). With the Premiership battle tighter than Simon Cowells eye-wateringly chest high trousers, it’s no wonder that only 200 points now seperates 40th place Emma G and 1st place Tom J. Game on people, game on.

Although this is serious stuff – and the stakes are abnormally high – with eternal wealth and glory awaiting our winners – just remember it’s all irrelephant really…

Harsh but fair this week,

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com

Anyway the latest round of transfers have now been put through for the start of January and here is the latest points update:

Tom Jones stays in top spot but is closely followed by Luan, Anna, Steve D (biggest scorer in top 10) and Steve W.

There were also a lot of strong performances from those in 11th to 20th places, with the likes of Ksenia, Carys, Lyons, Kokbun and Millo all recording strong results to close the gap on the big money spots.

Drogba remains the highest scoring player – although his absence with the African Nations, may see the likes of Rooney, Fabregas, Lampard, Dunne and Tevez come through.

Best value player is now R Johnson, but again S Carr, J Craddock, L Bowyer, M Etherington and J Hart are all close behind – all looking to be this seasons top wild card.

So all in all, things are hottening up nicely this season – with friendships being tested like never before – and with some people already walking on waifer thin ice after their over-the-top banter!! But just remember, that win or lose, it’s all fun, but if in doubt, punch a dolphin in the mouth.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/dolphin_punch

Until next week, unleash the Karate Kid inside you…

www.thisisfantasyfootball.com